A Look through the Blue Glass

“Come on. I will drop you to the bus stop.”I swung back to see my sister holding the bike key. I swooped on her to grab it. But she pushed me away with little concern and ran towards the front door.

“Dad, don’t you see this? You bought the scooter for me and see how she is taking control over it.” I said and turned to face my sister and blurted out. “I am going to ride the bike today, no matter what and I don’t want you to dominate me with an iron fist”. But somehow she managed to take over by persuading Dad and she rode me to the bus stop. I sulked at first but yielded since I was getting late for my classes.

I felt defeated but didn’t let go and carped so bad about her riding. Finally she lost her temper and control and ended up banging the gate of a house. Moments later, after the wambling and shuddering, I found myself rolling on the floor. Pain devoured me from all the sides and I fumbled for a grip to hold on. I could see blood on my knee and it was oozing out through the pores.

“Oh poor you. Let me help you. Take my hand” Hearing my sister’s voice made me go mad all over again.

I stared at her to see her beaming at me unscathed.

“Don’t dare to touch me. Bugger off you sanctimonious cow!” I roared and got to my feet.

Fights continued. I wished I had a brother so that I didn’t have to take all this pain. I felt she is so self-centered and found high spirits in letting me down. She was very artistic and everyone used to praise her for her out of this world talents. I have to accept that she is good at it but I never said.

And then came my college days and things became even more vulnerable. We were 4 years apart. I thought at least she would be able to understand my feelings and emotions at least after supporting her during her love conviction. Not only did she ever give me space in my life, but she also shadowed me like I am a pool of mystery.

Finally her big day arrived. She was going to get married and I will be as free as air. Marriage got over and she is going to leave soon. Suddenly I felt a lump inside my throat. Tears trickled down my cheeks.

Oh! She is going to be away leaving me behind. I couldn’t accept the truth. She used to be me, I realized. My very own shadow that always followed me for my own good. She didn’t want me to get into troubles. She had known the world for at least 4 years more than I did. She didn’t want me to end up in a tricky relation and hurt our parents. They had high hopes on me. She wanted me to be the best among us. She never let me ride the scooter for fear of me banging it somewhere and getting hurt. I was the apple of her eye. I was always her little sister. She couldn’t accept I was grown up and could be on my own. I knew I was wrong and had wrong prejudices about her.

I realized I was looking through the blue glass.

She left. I reached home and found myself alone in the crowd. Everybody were laughing and having fun. But I felt so lonely and left out without my sister. I longed to see her beside me, pulling my leg and eating my head. I felt like I lost some part of my body. My heart was heavy and I found it difficult to accept the fact that I was going to be away from my lovely sister for the rest of my life, who was with me for the past 20 years. It pained and before I could stop myself from thinking about her, I started sobbing.

Today here I am, married, with a kid. But still I miss her, her caring heart, her presence and all the fun and frolic. All the events which were once a matter of ego and pique give us a real belly laugh now. We have now summed up all these petty quarrels and bickerings as the most amusing chapter of “Sisterhood” which is worth calling up old times!

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